aah:

i don't like waiting until the last minute! why do i do this to myself? it seems as if time moves doubly fast when i need just a little bit more of it.

i saw joanna newsom last night at the parish. she was so wonderful & so beautiful with her big harp & her tiny voice; it made me want to cry & laugh & sleep & dance all at the same time.

love/hate:

most of the time rosie, our dog, & ollie, our cat, pretend like they hate each other. they are constantly bickering, they purposefully eat one another's food, ollie tries to claw rosie when she walks past & to pounce on her when she uses the restroom, rosie ignores ollie's existence. but then, every once in a while, i catch them doing something like this, which alters my whole perspective:


ollie touching rosie's ass with both paws? & rosie allowing it to happen? i think that something is up. a little cat/dog love/hate romance, perhaps.

on modernity:

i have recently come to strongly dislike the word "modernity." why? because two of my professors this semester have used the word countless times in lecture, a situation which would not be bad in itself if it were not for their terrible pronunciation of the word: "mow-dare-nity" (with unusually strong emphasis on the dare) rather than "mo-dur-nity." this slight difference may not be discernable to some ears, but i actually cringe every time i hear the word come up in lecture.

in other news, anna had her wisdom teeth removed this morning & the medication has affected her hilariously. also, i have successfully wasted three hours of my day doing i-don't-even-know-what.

a puzzle:

last night over dinner (peas, chicken strips, & lightly fried potatoes; we're scrimping for food, refusing to go to the grocery store until it is absolutely necessary), carmen & i discussed our recent, previously unspoken infatuation with crossword puzzles. it's true: the past few weeks the three of us have been stocking up on newspapers, making a habit of working on crosswords together over lunch, or leaving the puzzles on the kitchen table, unfinished, for the next person to complete at her leisure.

the puzzle that we worked on yesterday evening was particularly tough. i gave up at least three times, kept going back, & ended up leaving the uppermost left block unfinished overnight. i think that the incompletion spurred this dream:

a group of students at a college were to make a crossword puzzle for a newspaper. the puzzle was published. i attempted to complete it; i just knew that the answer to 10 across had to be something or another, i can't remember what, but it just wouldn't fit because there weren't enough blank squares. it turns out that the puzzle was un-completeable!! a joke! a trick!

anyhow, i woke up this morning frustrated about this situation, but with the answer to 6 down on the tip of my tongue: "idols!" i dashed (or shuffled, rather; it was early) to the kitchen & penciled it in.

i must put an end to this obsession. it is kind of ruining my life.

thanks a lot:

in light of the upcoming holiday, i realize that i have much to be thankful for. great friends, amazing family. my health. however, i also have much to be thankless about: upcoming papers & exams, for example. anxiety regarding these assignments hits me in waves; i have recurring hot-flashes & a constant sinking stomach.

so, two weeks to complete three papers (totaling 25 pages all together), one analytical outline (10 pages), one spanish cultural presentation (to last 15 minutes), & one final exam. putting it down in numbers like this didn't help the situation as i thought it might. such an overwhelming undertaking. i'm going to stop bitching now & get to work.

blue:

blueberries taste like christmas trees!

the cold(ish) weather is finally here. hopefully he will take a load off, have a cup of tea, remain with us for a while.

loco:

the wind is blowing very hard outside today, & i am afraid that my house may fall down.

meanwhile, scientists at the university of ankara in turkey "proved that listening to disco turned pigs deaf and made mice homosexual." (from shapiro, turn the beat around: the secret history of disco)

lately:

i feel as if i am moving too quickly in no particular direction.

testing:

1, 2, 3.